#3 Get busy. Try to keep yourself busy with other activities, so you won’t be tempted to send him another text message. This also applies to married or coupled men. If you’re married to a man who prefers to play video games rather than spend time with you, maybe it would help if you got busy instead of nagging him about his video game obsession.
Think of activities that you really want to do, and do them, whether it’s snowboarding or joining a book club. Your emotionally unavailable guy will soon notice how in charge you are with your life and will probably start to fear that you’re enjoying life so much without him that he’ll end up losing you. Seeing a woman doing her own thing is very attractive.
#4 Open up. What if the reason he’s not open to you or that he’s scared of being in a relationship with you is that you’re not open to him, either? Tell him a secret, tell him about your fears, and tell him about your craziest dream.
Sharing secrets builds intimacy, and that is what we’re aiming for, right? Then watch for signs. If he’s listening intently to what you’re saying and sharing his own secrets, it means there’s hope for you. If he has zero enthusiasm when you reveal important things about yourself, it’s a sign that he is not into you or that it would take a lot of hard work from both of you to achieve the connection you’re yearning for.
Phase II: the assessment phase
A year has passed since you had the talk, and you’ve already done all of the things above. All of the old problems and excuses have already been resolved. You’re now tired of your non-relationship, but you’re still hopeful that he’ll one day make things official. This is the time you need to assess him, his feelings toward you, and your feelings toward him.
#5 Date other men. If it has been a year since he said “Wait for me to get ready,” and you’re still in the same place, maybe it’s time to go out on dates with other men. I have a guy friend who only made it official when he saw the girl arm-in-arm with another man. He said he can’t stand seeing her with someone else. This is a rather sneaky move, but hey, if it’s been a year, you’d better find out if he’s ready.
If you being with another man doesn’t make him jealous, it’s a red flag. Instead of asking him questions about your relationship, it’s time you ask yourself if you really want to be with this guy. Jealousy doesn’t mean that he loves you, but it could lead him to make the move faster–particularly if he really loves you and was just waiting for the right time.