Infidelity doesn’t have to be the final straw in your marriage. With time to heal, lots of effort and these 5 tips, you can set things right again.
Whether it was you or your spouse who was tempted and led astray, bouncing back from an affair will scar even the bravest of relationship soldiers. Nothing is worse than having to undergo the pain of realizing that the person whom you cared for the most in the world was cruel enough to violate the life that you built together.
More often than not, people who engage in affairs do not end up with their affair partner, but a stack of nasty divorce papers instead. If you’ve been cheated on and somehow found the strength to forgive your spouse for the transgressions and heartache that you had to go through, you must put some rules in place to keep what happened from ruining your marriage.
Putting a cheating scandal in the past is by no means an easy task. However, going through a divorce, explaining everything to the kids and trudging on through life without a person you love will definitely be a lot harder. This is exactly why you shouldn’t allow just one incidence of cheating from ruining a potentially successful marriage.
How to prevent an old affair from ruining your marriage
Here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind if you or your partner had an affair in the past and want to move on from the incident as a team.
#1 Do learn from your mistakes. Unless your spouse is a serial cheater that no amount of therapy can cure, you need to take some responsibility for what happened. Do not get us wrong. We do not mean that you have to blame yourself for what happened. Instead, acknowledge that marriage is a two-person job, and that perhaps there was something that you did or didn’t do that led your spouse to go astray.
Maybe you didn’t appreciate your partner the way you should have. Maybe you lashed out one too many times, and your significant other just needed to get away from you. Perhaps you were distracted and focused on something else other than your relationship. Maybe the passionate spark between the two of you faded away and you did nothing to reignite it. Perhaps you weren’t giving your loved one enough emotional support.
No matter the reason, you should take some time out and try to pinpoint the moment when you realized things changed for the worst. Once you are able to figure that out, both of you will be able to learn from the mistakes made, and hopefully never repeat them again. Keeping a marriage from falling apart after a cheating scandal takes plenty of time and work, so you can’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.