Emotional detachment isn’t a healthy way to live life, but neither is putting too much emotion into everything. Sometimes emotions don’t help.
When you hear the phrase, emotional detachment, you probably picture it as a bad thing. Like the guy who won’t show his true feelings, or the woman who has been burned in the past and refuses to make a commitment again. But, emotional detachment isn’t always a bad thing. There are times when separating yourself from your emotions is a good thing.
I haven’t ever been able to separate my emotions from situations, which is anything but an asset. Taking the emotions from things helps you make wiser choices, be more successful in the business place, and cut down on the drama in your life. While most of the articles you read sing the evils of emotional detachment, there are times when it is a great tool.
10 situations when emotional detachment is the best method
Emotional detachment is all about degrees. There are some who can completely disengage from those around us. That isn’t a good thing. But, if you learn to control when you invest emotions and when you save them, it just might lead to much less drama in your life.
#1 A relationship that keeps going round and round. We have all been in certain relationships where you continue to go round and round about the same issues. The likelihood is one of you looks at the situation from an analytic point of view and one from an emotional one.
You can’t get people to feel emotion, but you can teach yourself to detach from your own emotion. You would be surprised at how quickly you can let things go in relationships when you stop putting so much emotion behind any and everything.
#2 In the business place. The business place is, well, for business. Part of the reason women get a bad rap in the business world is some of us have a harder time than others putting our emotions aside.
Being emotionally detached means not taking things personally, taking constructive criticism without hearing negativity, and not putting emotional intentions behind situations that likely have nothing to do with anything besides the bottom line. We all know you don’t cry in the boardroom, but if you still cry but wait until you walk out, then it is time to try emotionally detaching yourself from a situation.
If someone doesn’t like your idea, it isn’t about you personally. If someone gets picked over you, it means nothing about who you are. If you separate the situation from emotion, then it is much easier to rationalize things and not feel defeated, emotionally hurt, or like someone stepped on your feelings.
#3 When on social media. I would love to do a study to find out how many unnecessary fights stem from social media. Social media is an emotional haven for hurt. When you are on social media sites, try to emotionally detach yourself, or you spend a whole lot of time getting your feelings hurt over nothing.
Often, the way we feel about someone or the way we think someone feels about us, interjects into a situation where there are no emotions. We literally put a whole lot of feeling into something that isn’t there.
If you see something that upsets you on Snapchat, separate yourself from it. Remember if you choose not to let something hurt you, it can’t. The only one who allows the hurt to penetrate is you, so don’t allow it.
#4 Through text messages. Again, how many times have you read something in a text message that led to feeling emotions unintended? Although, that is why emojis came about, you still can’t read what emotions are behind a few strings of words. So, stop trying.
Take messages, texts, or instant messages exactly as they are written, without any emotion. Don’t input your own feelings into them. You just create drama for yourself that doesn’t need to be.
#5 You know something is temporary. I always wonder how people work as surgeons or social workers. The key is they emotionally detach themselves from the world around them when needed. If you know something is only temporary, then try not to form an emotional attachment.
I know, easier said than done. But, why get all wrapped up in something that you have no control over? Once it is done, you will just be left with a whole bunch of residual feelings and emotions and nowhere to deposit them. Look at every temporary situation as just that, temporary. Figure out what and how you can help, and when you can’t anymore, leave it behind.
#6 When dealing with less emotional people. There is nothing worse than trying to have a reasonable conversation with someone who is either way more emotional, or way less, than you. It is like speaking two different languages.
If you know your partner comes from an emotionally detached point of view, try to put yourself into their shoes and take the emotion out. A resolution is much more easily reached if you take the emotion out and figure out what is really behind the situation.
#7 Arguing with family members. Ugh, family… right? There is nothing more emotionally provoking than family. Growing up with them, being as close as you are, and past experiences that you can’t shake, to get along in family matters, it is best to try to emotionally detach yourself from situations with them.
Don’t go after twenty dollars in an estate because you feel like you got ripped off. You end up spending thousands and a whole lot of energy, over what? Emotions like envy, revenge, or hurt. Try to put family matters in non-emotional terms, and they aren’t as complex anymore.
#8 In competitive situations. No one ever won a marathon by stopping to help someone who fell over. Yep, if you are in a competitive atmosphere, then try emotional detachment. It isn’t that you can’t have empathy for those who you leave in your wake.
But, competition is all about winning, not about being the best person to everyone else or being emotionally attached. So, leave your emotions at the starting line. Once you cross back over, pick them back up again.
#9 To protect yourself. We all have that person in our lives who takes us down with just one or two phrases. If you deal with someone who uses your emotions against you through things like emotional blackmail or narcissism, then it is imperative for your survival that you emotionally detach yourself from them.
The hardest type of emotional detachment, if someone hurts you by using your emotional nature, then it is time to cut them off and detach.
#10 When being emotional is hurting only you. I am a highly *wait did I say highly?* emotional person! That means I enter every situation holding my heart on my sleeve. You know what that leads to?
People pushing me away because I am too needy, making stupid mistakes out of fear, or pushing people away because I am emotionally too attached and fearful of getting hurt.
If you have a history like mine, friends who couldn’t handle the intensity in your wake, or you just can’t seem to make a relationship work, then start detaching yourself to save yourself. It isn’t your responsibility to make everyone happy. It also isn’t your responsibility to feel everything for everyone, so just let it go.
Although emotional detachment is the source of relationship problems for some couples, there are times when a little emotional detachment is not only a good thing but a necessary one for highly emotional people to survive.
It has taken me many, many years, and I am still learning not everything has to be so highly emotional. I don’t have to be all in, care too much, or be so empathetic that I end up getting hurt. It isn’t helping anyone else, and more importantly, it isn’t helping me.
If you are a highly emotional person experiencing these ten situations in life, then try the route of emotional detachment, if being attached isn’t working.